After completing my undergraduate thesis, I applied to four PhD programs at top US universities. I received blanket rejections. In hindsight, it was a naive decision. I was applying to these highly-rated programs mainly because the Philosophical Gourmet ranked them as the best without fully considering whether they were the right fit for me or whether my application was strong enough. Naturally, I was disappointed, a bit depressed, and tired of the endless Manchurian clouds and rain. So I took my undergraduate thesis supervisor’s advice, returned to my sunny homeland for the first time in three years, and decided to pursue one of the top master’s programs in analytic philosophy in Spain.
At that time, I had my future meticulously planned out, as many do when pursuing a career in academia. I intended to complete my master’s, improve my application, and reapply to US universities, confident that this time would be different and I would be better prepared.
I meticulously revised all of my PhD application materials. By the time I submitted my sample piece, it was on its twentieth draft. My statements of purpose were personalized and tailored to each department I was applying to. But the second time around, I faced blanket rejections again—this time from twelve programs instead of four. The process wasn’t as straightforward as I had expected, and the sting of rejection hit harder than I cared to admit. Like many philosophy students applying to PhDs for the first time, I had never faced this level of rejection before. Most people who are passionate enough about philosophy to consider dedicating their lives to it tend to excel in the subject from the start. At the very least, their passion usually drives them to achieve decent to outstanding grades. PhD rejection shock is a common experience, one that I and many of my peers have faced.
Now, you may have noticed that I haven’t yet touched on what my graduate experience was actually like. I spent so much of my final bachelor’s year and my first semester as a master’s student worrying about my future in academia that, by the time I received all my rejections, half of my master’s degree had already passed. Sure, I was enjoying my classes and making friends, but against the backdrop of uncertainty and the fear of mediocrity, those aspects felt secondary.
After my second round of rejections, I decided not to reapply for the next cycle. I don’t think I was (or am) giving up; rather, I needed to focus on the present instead of constantly stressing about where I’d be in five years. Being a graduate student is both incredibly fun and challenging and after years of hard work and studying, you owe it to yourself to live that experience to the fullest.
Alejandra "Alex" Bañón Santamaría
Alex completed a Bachelor of Arts in philosophy at the University of Manchester and then completed a Master’s degree in analytic philosophy hosted by the University of Barcelona, with additional participation from the Pompeu Fabra University, University of Girona, and the Autonomous University of Barcelona. Her main research interests are feminist philosophy and philosophy of language.
